Cleanin’ Out My Cabinets: Grilled Pizza with Crawfish and Corn

Although summer is awesome, I appreciate the climate in Fall and Spring when it’s comfortable to hang outside in a jacket and I don’t sweat profusely every time I light the grill.  Fall also marks the return of pumpkin beer and pizza making season.  Pumpkin beers aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but they are at their best when combined with a carefully poured Guinness for a Black’n Pump.

Five years ago when I first discovered Shipyard Pumpkinhead with Kwips, Con and Trisha I thought it was the most delicious beer I’d ever tasted.  I quickly OD’ed and can’t drink straight Pumpkinhead these days, but this combo is phenomenal

The Pumpkinhead spice and sweetness are cut by the Guinness and it generally becomes a nice, easy drinking beer for the fall, albeit ne that I will get sick of every year by November.  On the other hand, the pizza making is always a fall to spring favorite because I get to sample toppings combinations I’ve never come across in my storied pizza-eating career.  I just have to make them first.

This year, with my trusty Stealth Griller in the fold, I’ve started experimenting with grilled pizza.  The concept was first explained to me by my previous boss Anne-Marie to which I replied with a confused look and “you put the dough right on the grill?!?!” before shrugging my shoulders and chuckling like she was insane.  More recently, this has become a specialty of my friend Buschy who, despite his unrefined palate, was able to provide some great pointers for this endeavor.

I think everyone would agree that 40% of the battle for great pizza is a well thought out topping combination.  Or, whatever I have in the freezer and haven’t come up with a good way to use.  In this case, Louisiana crawfish.

I was terrified of why the crawfish was yellow despite supposedly only being cooked and cleaned, but apparently it was just an awful choice of semi-transparent packaging by Pat Huval.  Thankfully, he offers me four ways to contact him and  discuss, right on the package

Crawfish (or crayfish or crawdads or mudbugs) look like tiny fresh-water lobsters.  You pretty much only eat the tail which tastes a little more like crab than lobster but with the texture of shrimp.  Great stuff when done right.

The crawfish came courtesy of Dupee who has been Geologying (I believe that’s what his line of work is called) in Louisiana and flew back with 6 frozen one pound packages.  Looked like it was caught and packaged in a real backwoods operation, which made me more excited than scared for some reason.

With an idea of the types of ingredients that always compliment shellfish, I started out by sauteeing 6 cloves of chopped garlic in butter.  After a few minutes, and with the garlic starting to brown slightly around the edges, I added the thawed pound of crawfish.

The return of the action shot!  Kristi had no issues documenting this one, though it wasn’t the most exciting project for her.  Ghost hands because I move so fast!

After the crawfish and garlic cooked together for a bit I added crushed red pepper, a half cup of white wine, and a little salt.  Let that simmer for 10ish minutes to cook off most of the excess liquid before adding a handful of chopped parsley.

While the crawfish mixture simmered, I boiled three ears of corn for 5 minutes before rinsing them in cold water to stop the cook and cutting the kernels off the cobs. 

I slowly added the corn wanting to make sure I didn’t add too much before mumbling “eff it” and dumping the whole pile in.  ‘Course.

This combination works with pretty much every shellfish and always comes out delicious.  With a little cream and sherry instead of white wine this would make and excellent pasta sauce.  There’s no way I lose weight as long as I am writing this blog

WIth the topping complete, it was time to move on to the pizza.

I fired up the grill, brushed it as clean as I could get it, and preheated it on high.  While that came up to temperature, I cut a pizza dough in half, stretched it into shape and coated one side with salt, pepper and a generous amount of olive oil.

Great Scott!  Little time travel action going on here since I took pictures on two different nights. I could have probably gotten away with it but I am too honest to deceive you people.  Aside from the whole “I know what I am doing in the kitchen” deception

Before placing on the grill I rubbed the grate with a rag soaked in olive oil to reduce the chance of the sticking.  The dough went onto the grill oil side down before closing the lid and turning off the center burner.

After a few short minutes, I had this:

Loved seeing how bubbly the dough got.  Could also see I was letting it get a little overdone around the edges, but it was my first time through and always love a well charred pizza.  I only think about myself when I am cooking

The doughs came off the grill without sticking at all and were crusted enough that they stayed flat on the spatula despite minimal support.  Once inside, I coated the uncooked side of the dough with a little more olive oil then flipped it on the cookie sheet.

Pulled the time shifting switcheroo here.  This post is like Memento or something.  The first round was pretty dark when they came off and would make for a bummer of a picture (despite coming out great in the end), so I’ll use the picture from a few nights later when I got the technique down

The grilled side got a light covering of shredded mozzarella, then a good layer of the crawfish and corn mixture topped with a sprinkling of romano cheese.  Then back onto the grill that I left on high while I topped the pizza so it would stay hot.

Had to throw some burgers on too.  Need to establish a few years of fault free odd meals before my friends and family will trust me enough to not have some backup normal food.  I don’t blame them, I once fed them goat head and brains without telling them what it was!  Awful picture by the way

After 4-5 more minutes with the lid down and the heat lowered slightly to allow the cheese to melt, the pizzas came off and hit the cutting board.

Forgot to take a picture while they were both intact. I’m happy to say that this happened quickly, another few minutes and there would have only been a slice left

The most important part, the crust, was excellent.  Crispy but soft and bubbly inside with the flavors of the salt, pepper, and olive oil coating adding great seasoning.  The crawfish was much milder in flavor than the smell when I first opened the package and not fishy at all.  Because the corn and crawfish cooked together, the topping had a deliciously consistent shellfish/garlicky/winey/buttery flavor, but with the contrasting textures of the corn and crawfish in every bite.  The sprinkling of cheese on top added a lot of sharpness which I thought was excellent though Kristi found the cheese overwhelming until the slices cooled down a bit.

You will likely see a lot more grilled pizzas on here, the dough just comes out far better than a standard 500F oven.  Let’s see what I got next week.

Weird Crap I Cook: Octopus 3-Ways

Aside from the usual end-of-summer struggles with posting, I haven’t had a whole lot going on the past few weeks.  Trip to Vermont, staph infection from a bug bite, lots of work, but not a lot of interesting cooking.  The vegetable CSA has certainly kept me on my toes trying to figure out a good pickling recipe and making variations of Conman’s mixed-vegetable smoky salsa, but none of that stuff makes a good blog post.

So, this past Sunday I had high hopes for inspiration and a drive to cook something interesting.  Instead we walked to Brookline to hit Michael’s Deli for the best Ruben in Boston.

I should have shown a picture of the awesome sammich, but the guy who made my sandwich was enamored with Janet and she was surprisingly happy hanging with him while we ordered.  I thought it was adorable.  Great place

On the walk home I made the call that it was time to cook the three pound whole octopus I’ve had in the freezer for a couple months.  After some quick research, it seemed relatively straightforward and would just require thawing it out for cooking.  So lets get going.

I know, I didn’t think it looked promising at first either, but I quickly recognized that it was whole, raw, and relatively free of any freezer burn

I was nervous about rapid thawing but some quick research clarified that frozen octopus should be soaked to defrost which was what I was planning to do anyway.  One more shot of this truly bizarre  seafood block that looked like it was frozen in the base of a five gallon bucket.

Like a wheelbarrow tire made out of seafood.  I wanted Kristi to eat this meal so I didn’t involve her and the good camera in the documentation.  Gave the iPhone another shot instead.  I’ll give it a B-

The frozen block started to loosen up and looked more like a oceangoing creature after an hour or so soaking in water.  Enough that I advised Kristi not to look in the sink for a little while.

Might have been a little overzealous saying this looked like an oceangoing creature.  It really looked like a grocery bag getting tossed around by the ocean, or the washing machine just after it fills.  Food!

I had a sense that this octopus was far larger than I expected but would also contract significantly once it was cooked.  As the thawing wrapped up, I put a large pot of heavily salted water over high heat.  With Kristi safely seated in the living room, I lifted the octopus out of the bowl by the head (mantle).  Well, wowzers.

This was surprisingly heavy.  I was leaning back so far and holding the phone away to fit the whole thing in a picture.  It was friggin’ huge

With the water boiling, I was ready to start cooking this thing.

Quick aside, the millions of internet experts on Octopus cooking were decidedly split on whether or not a cork was necessary in the boiling water to tenderize the octopus.  Some sort of enzyme in cork helps break down the meat, or something like that.  I was leaning towards including a cork until I realized we didn’t have any lying around and I was pretty sure that every bottle in the house was either screw cap or synthetic cork (cuz that’s how we roll).  And with that, my decision was made, no cork in this batch.

As instructed online, I dipped the octopus a couple times to tighten it up a bit and then fully submerged it in the boiling water.  Put some good slimy smudges on our stainless hood from not having enough clearance above the pot to lower this monster in cleanly.  Almost immediately it fully contracted and started looking more like food.  Or a prop from Aliens.

Understandable why a lot of people like baby octopus but would never consider cooking a whole large one.  This really does look like somethign from the back lot at Universal Studios

After putting the octopus in the pot I reduced the heat to a simmer, carefully placed a pair of tongs to keep it from floating out of the water, and left it to cook for an hour and a half.  At which point I cut the heat and let it cool to a handleable temperature in the water.

Again, really crazy stuff going on in this kitchen.  The liquid looked like a melted Crayola crayon or something.  The stuff that made it pink was actually some sort of solid, likely from the skin, suspended in the liquid.  Pretty odd

When I eventually (read, post cocktail hour at a local restaurant’s patio with friends) pulled the octopus out of the liquid, the skin was falling off and the meat was fork tender.

A bit of a blurry mess, but looks more like food I think.  Or looks more like food to me I think.  Something like that

The suction cups and skin were completely falling off and when I tasted them didn’t seem to have a lot of flavor or texture.  So I completely removed everything that was loose, cut each tentacle off near the base, and piled all of the meat up on a plate.

Really struggled to process what I was looking at at this point.  A big pile of worm-like white meat just doesn’t look right.  Next time around I would cook it in a way that allowed it to hold it’s signature skin and suction cups

Now for the three ways.  My plan was to make a relatively traditional coctel de pulpo, a simple grilled tentacle with olive oil and sea salt, and a pesto octopus bruschetta.  Wasn’t really creative at all, I’ve wanted to make the first two items for a while not and the last item is just due to how much pesto Kristi made last week.

I started with the coctel de pulpo since it needed the most time to rest together in the fridge.  I’ve had coctel de pulpo a couple times on previous travels and it’s really just an awse term for ceviche; tomatoes, lime, garlic, seafood, etc.  I liked the idea of this item because it didn’t call for any specific ingredients, just what sounds good and what’s in the fridge.

I sliced all of the octopus meat from the mantle, the ends of the arms, and the body in thin pieces.  Half of that meat joined diced onion, cubed cucumber, garlic, hot sauce, and lots of chopped cilantro in a glass bowl.

Lots of strong flavors to surround the mild tasting octopus, but it all works so well together.  Hasn’t been my strongest post from a captions perspective.  I’m a little out of rhythm, per usual, with the end of summer

I squeezed about a lime and a half over the ingredients and stirred in tomato juice until the texture looked about right.  Then a lot of pepper and a little sea salt.

Like a seafood gazpacho, one that will find nicks and cuts inside your mouth you never knew existed and burn the bejesus out of them

The pesto bruschetta was both a courtesy to Kristi, since I knew pesto + grilled bread would make even the oddest of ingredients edible for her, and a combination of ingredients that sounded dece to me.  I stirred a few spoonfuls of pesto with the remainder of the sliced octopus meat and a little lemon juice before putting it on the stove top over low heat.

Like plopping a can of hash into a pot and not breaking it up at all.  I did stir this eventually.  The iPhone shots are at their worst when there’s a lot of light.  I think I just need to start paying Kristi a photographers wage so she has to photograph the stuff she doesn’t want to see

With the coctel resting in the fridge and the bruschetta topping heated up, I headed out to the grill the octopus arms and some sliced ciabatta from When Pigs Fly bakery in JP.  That place is impossible to go into without buying something.

I take back my previous statement.  The iPhone is truly at its worst in low light.  Either you get a grainy, difficult to make out shot or a completely washed out image from the flash.  The way I remember it, it was barely dusk out and this picture makes it look like it was taken in the touch tunnel at the Liberty Science Center.  Suburban NJ spooves!!!

The octopus and bread both had a bit of olive oil on them and I waited until the grill was very hot to throw them on.  My goal was to get a blackened char on the octopus and a nice toast on the bread, but the bread was far more cooperative than the octopus.  For some reason instead of a char or even some solid grill marks, the outside just got a little crispy.  Not what I was hoping for but, oh well.

Once off the grill, I drizzled some good olive oil and a couple twist of pink sea salt over the arms.  Yeeeaaahhh, getting fancy with my ingredients on y’all!  I got those seas salts all the way in Brookline!  At the Trader Joes!  For $1.99!

A char would have gone a long way towards making these look more appetizing.  I’m guessing that next time I’ll cut the tentacles off before boiling and cook them on the grill only which will likely get the char I’m looking for since they will be skin-on

With everything fully cooked, I plated it all together.  The coctel got some blue corn tortilla chips as a garnish/edible spoon, and the pesto octopus was piled high on the toasted bread.

Was pretty happy with how this came out looks-wise.  The grilled tentacles were really the crappiest looking item on the plate.  White food just looks gross, even worse when it is completely unidentifiable to an impartial observer

I thought this was a very solid meal and Kristi seemed to enjoy it as well.  The octopus arms had an interesting texture, tough and crispy on the outside but tender inside with the nice mild shellfish-like flavor that octopus has.  The fruity olive oil and salt obviously complimented it well.  The bruschetta was delicious, rich, easy-entry food.  The octopus added that same shellfishy flavor and a nice tender texture and we had no problem eating our way through that entire pile of bread and pesto mixture.

The coctel de pulpo was my favorite part.  I loved the spicy/citrusy kick from it and how light and refreshing it was after the other far more rich parts of the dish.  Like a palate cleanser.  With tortilla chips.  Kristi wasn’t as into that part since it was her first taste of ceviche, but she agreed that the burn from the spicy citrus had an almost addictive quality.

That’s it, summer is almost over and football cooking season is starting.  Get excited.

Cleanin’ out my Cabinets: The Mixed Grill

I need to come up with a good name for mixed grill that sounds cool.  Bollito Misto would be a cool thing to call it but that’s a mixed boil, and all the other foreign terms for mixed meat grill-fests refer to a specific collection of meats.  Please provide suggestions for what I should call future events where I fish interesting stuff out of my chest freezer to grill up. 

Anyhoo, Lamb, smelts, and cow parts were on the menu for Saturday and good golly was it rewarding.  Let’s check out the vacuum sealed lineup.

iPhone camera + dish towel + assorted offal in plastic makes for a much more ominous shot than a joyous evening of grilling calls for

That’s a half kidney, half beef tongue, a lamb tongue, two lamb hearts, and a hanger steak.  The steak was from Uncle Billy’s cow, the half kidney was leftover from a previous experiment with steak and kidney pie, and the tongues and hearts were from Snow Farm.

David from Snow Farm has become the equivalent of an email pen pal, but one that occasionally asks me what “parts” I’m looking for when he is butchering some of his naturally raised lamb, pork, beef, and goat.

The hanger steak came over in the creepy cooler I picked up on Kristi’s grandmother’s porch and the tongues and hearts are from the bag David left for me in a driveway in Lexington, MA.  I was extremely excited to cook both of them.

The item I was less excited about was discovered in my freezer a few weeks ago.  In a good life lesson to search your friend’s pockets before they enter your apartment, a 1.5 pound bag of smelts was hidden between Janet’s waffles and some frozen corn.  In general I like smelts, which are basically a large sardine that is usually fried and eaten whole (with the guts and head removed).  The frozen version kind of scared me, and the fish stank they leaked into my fridge when they defrosted didn’t help my fear.

While the smelts finished defrosting, I started initial prep on the meat.  First up was the hanger steak.

Funky looking stuff when it isn’t trimmed.  I was positive this was some sort of neck or cheek meat when I pulled it out of the cooler originally just because it looked so bizarre

Apparently hanger steak (called that because it hangs from the diaphragm) comes from the same general area of the cow as the skirt and flank steaks.  Like those other cuts, it needs be marinated, cooked medium rare and sliced thinish since it can be pretty chewy, but first there was a whole lot of crap to cut away.

Big bowl of fat and connective tissue trimmed off the hanger, leaving me with…

…this.  Pretty decent looking steak with a little bonus piece that was loosely connected.  Nothing makes me happier than cheap (or free) cuts of beef that actually taste good

With the steak trimmed, it headed into a marinade of Worcestershire, soy sauce, BBQ sauce, mustard, garlic, salt and pepper.  Random collection of ingredients but I also knew it couldn’t go wrong.

While all that was happening, the tongues were in a pot of salted boiling water for about an hour to get them ready for peeling.

Every time I cook tongue I like to think that it will look far more edible once it’s peeled.  Nope, still looks like a tongue.  Considering that is half a beef tongue and a full lamb tongue, it’s a good reminder of how friggin’ big a cow is compared to a lamb

Peeling tongues is always difficult to get started then easy going once you have a piece to get ahold of.  Not my favorite activity.

Back to the smelts.  With people arriving and plans of serving them tiny fishies as an app, I gave the smelts a good rinse under running water before dredging in lemon juice and shaking them in a bag full of bread crumbs, garlic powder, salt and pepper.

This was one of those times when I realized I was about to make bout 20 times more of a particular food than there were parties interested in consuming said food

Despite the conniption brought on by my OCD when pan frying, it was the only way to do the smelts right so they headed into a large pan with a layer of shimmering olive oil.  A few minutes on each side in the hot oil and you had a crispy crunchy whole fish body to chew on.

I usually make my own dipping sauces but that jar of Cain’s Tartar Sauce had been around too long and I was pessimistic that these little fishies deserved the homemade sauce treatment.  I whisked in some lemon juice to lessen the blow to their ego

The smelts were pretty dece, far better than I would have expected when I first smelled them.  You have to like the crunch of eating the whole fish body, bones and all, and the flavor that comes from doing so.  It’s a pretty flavorful experience, though I will always prefer the heads-on version I got in Sovicille Italy.

Back to the meats.  After a couple hours in the fridge soaking in a salt/sugar brine, the lamb hearts and kidney came out of the fridge looking like something from the storage room at the Mütter Museum.

Pretty much the stuff on the shelves of the dead end basement I run into in nightmares.  Or, to those I invite over, an exciting meal for pleasant guests!

I’ve shown beef kidneys on here before, so no need to show that again pre-trimming, but lamb hearts are pretty cool looking.

Funny looking things, much less intimidating than the gigantic beef hearts I’ve messed around with previously

I cut the hearts into thirds and the kidney into cubes before putting them onto double skewers, yakitori-style.  Since I had a decent experience with grilled kidneys in Morocco when they were coated with Moroccan seasonings, I went with a similar treatment.  The lamb and kidneys both got a coating of paprika, cumin, cayenne, salt, and garlic powder plus a good drizzle of olive oil.

Forgot to soak these skewers in advance, which means I am still batting a perfect 1.000 at forgetting to soak skewers before I use them.  I think I secretly enjoy the experience of burning my fingers attempting to remove lit skewers from the grill by hand

I sliced the tongues as well and gave them the same yakitori skewer treatment.  Avoided the heavy seasoning this time and went with just salt pepper and olive oil.

At some point I am going to cook a beef tongue perfectly, but it is more likely to be coincidence than actual skill.  Much like anything I make that tastes good

With the grill well heated and enveloping our guests with smoke, it was time to get the mixed grill grillin’.

Grilling meat makes me happy

After a few minutes on each side for the lamb and tongues skewers, a little longer for the kidneys and a little longer than that for the steak, everything was ready to come off the grill.

I sliced the hearts and tongues while the steak rested.

Was surprised that I actually cooked the hearts to a correct medium rare.  I can’t consistently hit the right temperature on hot dogs, let alone random offal from animals I don’t cook regularly

Still nice and juicy, but in general tongue isn’t a fantastic grilling meat.  Type that up and email it from your Gmail to your Hotmail so it will be saved forever and not disappear when fads like “Google” go away

Kidneys. Slowly learning, these just aren’t my thing

This had to go back on the grill, totally erasing the faux confident move from me where I pressed a fork on the steak an said, “oh yeah, that’s done”.  I just make stuff up

With the meats all ready to go, I’ll throw a brief shoutout to our two vegetarian dishes that were a nice change of pace from the massive amounts of meat.

Kale salad courtesy of Kristi. I have been eating the living sh*t out of this salad for a few weeks now since we got the recipe from my cousin Chris.  I wanted to add 3-5 more curses to that last sentence to make it clear how strongly I feel about that kale salad

Soba noodle salad from vegetarian Taylor.  At this point I have no idea why she tolerates me, I think it’s to hang with Kristi and Janet

With everything laid out and ready to grub, we dove in until fully stuffed.  Here’s a new approach to the recap

• The lamb’s tongue was rich and awesome, like a nice fried piece of fatty lamb.  Need to order more of these from Snow Farm.
• The beef tongue had a nice pot roast flavor but was a little chewy due to the thickness I sliced.  I will figure out how to cook this stuff at some point.
• The kidneys were very strong.  Like throw the rest out after we each had a bite strong.  They had been in the freezer for awhile and were from a factory farmed cow so the odds were against me from the start, plus I didn’t soak them nearly long enough and should have added a milk soak cycle as well.
• The lamb hearts were really awesome and I will need to order more of them as well.  The meat was lean, tasted like great lamb with no off flavors, and very tender.  Probably always will be best on the grill but I’d imagine they’d go great with a little feta and a lemony arugala salad next time.
• The hanger steak was also very good and had great beef flavor, need to find a butcher that sells it instead of keeping it for themselves.
• I’ve made my feelings known on the kale salad (happy to share the recipe), but the Soba one was equally delicious.  The mango and cilantro were a great combo and the chewy tofu worked great as a meat substitute in a salad like this.

And that’s all.  Off to Little Compton for the weekend, going to hit that fish shop I love and hopefully do some foraging.

Weird Crap I Cook: Surf and Turf

It doesn’t sound that odd, but “Surf & Turf” does cover a broad variety of food combinations.  To me, the traditional surf and turf consisting of filet mignon and a previously frozen, warm-water lobster tail is the surest sign of an awful restaurant; just two overpriced bland food items.  The different takes are always the best ones, which is how we ended up with offal, reptile, and fish for dinner when we were down in Naples.

It all started at Jimmy P’s butcher shop in Naples, FL.

Like most awesome food spots in Naples, Jimmy P's is in a rather anonymous strip mall. Made a suburban-raised Jersey kid feel right at home

Along with lots of nice looking cuts of high-quality meat, they also have a few cases of more interesting and unique items.  As you look left to right at the freezer cases, they start you with the game meat sausages, advancing to the tiny birds and poultry liver mousses, before culminating with a case full of organ meats.

After 15 minutes of pacing, leaving grease streaks on the glass with my nose, and defrosting the freezer with constant opening and closing, I paid for my lamb kidneys and gator fillets.

The sub-$4 price tag and lack of required cooking time helped these kidneys beat out the veal tongues and sweetbreads they were competing with. I wish they packaged all offal in cheap(er) quarter-pound one man portions

After some research, it seemed that one of the most common methods for prepping lamb kidneys is to soak in heavily dilluted vinegar.  I didn’t like the idea of this since I hate the rubbery, bad ceviche-like outside that citrus juice or vinegar gives to meat when marinating.  However, I’m also an idiot and blindly followed the recommendations of some anonymous internet recipe poster.

I ended up regretting that decision when I saw the outside had changed color 20 minutes later.  I pulled the kidneys out of the diluted vinegar soak and rinsed them thoroughly to stop the pickling effect before slicing each one in half.

Despite the whitened vinegar-cooked outside, these were still much cooler looking food than beef kidneys. My poor mother invites us down to visit and I thank her by preparing organ meats in her pristine kitchen while belching loudly and muttering curses at her dull knives

After the internets failed me, I fell back on my previous knowledge of kidneys and soaked them in milk followed by salted cold water.  The goal was to draw out whatever blood and funkiness they held inside.

While those sat in the fridge and reduced the resale value of Mommy Ryan’s condo, Tim got started prepping the pound of gator fillets.

Looked suspect and tourist trap-y, like some sort of airport souvenir or a sweatshirt the Mooman would buy if he visited the Everglades

Alligator is a little gimmicky and is on the menu at a lot of crappy theme restaurants in Southwest Florida.  However, it’s also pretty delicious if done right; like salty tender chicken scallopine that’s been tenderized by the spiky side of a mallet.  It sounds specific, but it’s a pretty solid analogy according to the writer of said analogy.

Tim planned to set aside some of the larger pieces for grilling and fry up the remaining chunks.  Worked for me, but I insisted he come down to the pool and help me start the grill since I am scared of grills and he is a real man and all.  Friggin jerk.  Here’s what headed to the grill along with two (varying degrees of) portly Ryans:

Olive oil, salt, and lots of pepper. The kidneys were mild smelling enough that they didn't seem to need a ton of extra flavor covering them. I had an arugala and lime aioli waiting just in case

The gator fillets. Figured these would be the under-the-radar best item on the table

A couple thick tuna steaks with a little toasted sesame oil to avoid sticking to the grill. Had to feed Kristi something. Note the Bell's Oberon in the background that I was extremely excited to find until I realized I was drinking their summer beer in February. Still pretty delicious though

With the grill safely started by Tim (while I hid behind the deck furniture with my fingers in my ears), we let it heat up for 5-10 minutes and threw everything on.

Just a wonderful sight, even if the lamb kidneys looked mildly disturbing on the left side. The next day some condo association busybody complained about the residue left on the grill while Tim and I whistled and looked at the flowers and cracks in the floor

The grills are quality ones, and the setup is great, but they just didn’t get hot enough despite being cranked to high the whole time.  Against every instinct, I had to lower the cover for a bit.

"What you guys doing:}?!?!?", "OMG!!!", "I ❤ them! TTYL!!!!" What can I say, I am a 32 year old dad who texts more than a teenage girl and with even less coherence. I also wear slippers with my DB lax-daddy shorts and pink shirt

After a few minutes, I opened the lid, flipped everything and cooked with the uncovered for another 5-10 minutes.

Kidneys had some of the crispy char I was looking for, and the gator looked decent, but I already knew the tuna was going to be over. I think I took it off a split second later while saying hateful sh*t about myself under my breath

After everything had some good marks on both sides, we loaded onto platters and made the trip back up to the condo.  The kidneys had a remarkably mild smell considering how strong organ meat can smell when cooked.

I would have preferred the kidneys be borderline burned on both sides. No idea why, burned kidneys sounds awful

The grilled gator was tender and full of flavor.  Because it is served in so many fried preparations, usually using the gristle-heavy cheap cuts, gator gets a bad rep.  I honestly think a piccata with gator fillets would be incredible after how good the grilled version was.

The kidneys were interesting.  The flavor of beef kidneys reminded me of gamy lamb, so I assumed that lamb kidneys would be like mega-gamy lamb.  I ended up being incorrect for a change, and they weren’t too bad;  a little rubbery with some mild liver/organ meat flavor, complimented well with an acidic sauce.  Unfortunately the arugala and lime aioli I made broke while I was at the grill which was a bit of a bummer.  File lamb kidneys in the “I’m glad I tried it but I’ll pass on thirds” category.

Acknowledging my mistakes here with that tuna. That's what I'd expect on a salad at a TGIFridays, thank god It had a decent sauce for dipping (same as my dumpling sauce)

The best item, which came together entirely while I was at the grill so I can’t take credit (though I will if you offer it), was Tim’s fried gator nuggets.  Salty, tender, crispy, well seasoned with Old Bay and served with a garlic mayo, friggin’ delicious from a friggin’ jerk

I could have eaten this whole plate, I love that slightly fishy chicken taste that gator has. Oh, and anything salty and fried

We will need to experiment with gator some more on our next visit, along with whatever else Jimmy P’s has to offer.  Really good.

Will try to break up the WCICs with some cookies or mac & cheese or something next week.  However, there are definitely some good meals in the queue after picking up 40 lbs misc. cow parts from Uncle Billy last weekend in Vermont.  Not to mention the bag of lamb hearts and tongues from David at Snow Farm that was left for me to pick up in Lexington, MA.  You end up with a lot of awesome random food when you write a random food blog.

Weird Crap I Cook: Salmon Heads (Grilled Salmon Wings)

A couple weeks ago, with weekend temperatures forecasted to be unseasonably warm, we decided to have a tailgating party for Sunday football.  Basically, instead of sitting indoors watching football we’d all wear jerseys and hang outside grilling food, drinking beers, and listening to games on the radio.  I will take credit for the awesome idea, mainly because the actual people who thought of it don’t have blogs to refute the claim.

With plans to grill, I decided to make a dish that I had been thinking about ever since I saw salmon heads in the seafood case for a buck a pound: salmon wings.

Big old sack of fish heads in exchange for 6 of my (recently) hard earned dollars

My idea for salmon wings was removing and cooking the collar of the salmon, kind of similar to the Hamachi Kama (yellowfin collar) I made this summer.  Unlike the yellowfin collar, the salmon collars are too small to eat with chopsticks so you would have to bend them and pull the meat out with your teeth like a chicken wing.  Hence, salmon wings.

I know salmon heads sound gross, but look at all of that nice looking meat around the collar!

After quickly rinsing the heads in the sink and moving Janet’s jumparoo out of splatter range, I got to work butchering the heads.

Now, here’s where things get a little weird (weirder); the entire time I was cutting the heads I was singing to myself “fish heads, fish heads, roly poly fish heads, fish heads fish heads, eat them up yum”.  I have no idea where I have heard this song, why the lyrics were stuck in my head, and generally what the following video starring Bill Paxton is all about. But I know I am nervous about my sanity.

Not sure how we move on from here, but let’s go with pretending the previous paragraph never happened, OK?

The prep was actually a lot easier than I expected; the bone and cartilage connecting the collar to the head was a lot thinner than the tuna head and easier to cut through.  The gills, which were the easiest part of the tuna head, were the toughest part to remove due to the size of the heads.

This was the first one I butchered, and it got easier/cleaner as I went along. Don't think that means I wasn't in danger of losing my fingers at least 20 times in the half hour it took to fully butcher and trim the pile of heads

Instead of disposing of the rest of the head, I saw the potential in the meat remaining along the top and decided to cut out the gills and reserve the heads for later use.

All clean, even washed behind the ears. Again, this is still round one of 5. After this shot I didn't take another picture 'till everything was done, primarily due to the bloody messiness

Eventually I ended up with a cutting board of decently(-ish) butchered salmon collars.

Unlike the tuna head, I left the fins on this one. They seemed like they would be tough to remove without destroying some meat and figured the fin would make them easier to hold once cooked

The bowl of heads went back in the fridge for later use and, after a final rinse, the collars went into a marinade of sesame oil, soy sauce, siracha, brown sugar, garlic, ginger, and a little five spice.

Anybody still a little creeped out by Bill Paxton? What a career: start with that bizarre video, shift to memorably funny roles in Weird Science and Aliens, and mostly finish his career potential as a polygamist on a show I never understood the appeal of

After a couple hours in the marinade, the salmon wings went onto the upper rack of the grill skin down to allow some of the fat to render over lower heat for ten minutes.  From there they headed onto the main rack of the grill for five minutes on each side, leaving me with this.

The sugar burned a bit but it added some good flavor. Also, the ends of those fins had the texture of potato chips and were kinda tasty

After a few minutes to let them cool off, they were ready to sample.  I found the easiest way to eat them was to pull apart from the fin and one end then dive into the meat that was exposed.

I was nervous the skin would get in the way but it peeled off easily when the wings were pulled apart

The first bite, right by the fin joint, had a lot of meat on it.  The meat hadn’t taken on much of the marinade but was very rich and the texture was tender and moist.  Aside from that area, there was bone on both sides that had a thin layer of meat on it that was heavily flavored by the marinade and grill.

Sad that there's nothing left on there. The graininess of the last two images is because they were accidentally done as video and I needed to pull stills from that. Watching a video of myself eating made me wonder why I still have friends. If you want a quick weight loss tip, eat your meals with me while I am eating mine and I guarantee you will lose your appetite

A bunch of people tried these and the reviews were all positive.  Great flavor, unique, and fun to eat.  I’d definitely make salmon wings again.

When I got home from the tailgating a few hours later, I remembered that I had a giant bowl of fish heads waiting for me in the fridge.

As I said before, there was a fair amount of meat left on those heads despite already taking off the best part

Given the amount of soup I make on a weekly basis, I figured these would be put to best use by making some fish stock with them.  So, they headed under the broiler with onions, carrots, celery and garlic to get a little char on them.

That pizza stone has been supposed to come out of the oven for weeks, but I continually start preheating the oven before noticing it and then leave it in during cooking to keep the heat steady. Vicious cycle dudes

After everything had a little color, it all went into a stock pot covered completely with water to boil for a few hours.

I scrubbed the kitchen after the initial head butchering to get the fishy smell out, then came back home to make a stock that would permeate every fiber of clothing not safely stored with fish smells

Once the liquid had reduced and the flavors appeared to be right (read: I was exhausted and wanted to go to bed) I pulled all of the solids out using a slotted spoon to prepare the broth for straining.

The amount of gelatin in the broth was reduced by a few trips through some cheese cloth but, regardless, I was stunned by it. This looked scarier than the head cheese boil

Overall I ended up with about 4 quarts of fish broth which I will be sure to use in a future post or two.  All in all, a very successful day of cooking.

Soups and bolognese will be included in one of my next posts, not sure in what order.